Yellow Water

Ah, just my fucking luck! My phone has fallen into urine and now it's not working. This is bullshit, god- are you serious? What an ass. Whatever. There's not much I can do now except wait for Daniel The Man With The Plan come to me and fix my phone. I like that face he gets when he's trying to figure something out.
Anyway:
Ian:
Tonight:

LIVING TO THE FULLEST!

i love you

For M

So, it turns out:

We are alive.

And we alive together.



If I could put into words how much I care about you, the world would crash into the sun and earth would turn into a gazillion little stars and everything would seize to exist because life would not be able to handle all the significance of my love for you.

Such powerful vowel movements required for an explanation of my love for you, has not yet been discovered. But I will always do the best I can in explaining it to you. We've been dealing with some pretty shitty things lately, coming from all directions. Yet, here we are. The shit hit the fan, and we've been able to dodge most of the feces, their feces, but I think our elbows got splattered a little bit. No problem though, we just look cooler now. Yep, just when you thought it was impossible to look more like bad-asses. I'm sorry about being all pissy and sad about the stains sometimes. But believe me: it will pass, and not for a a moment do I forget how deeply I feel for you. Really. I don't care about how "gay" that may sound.

So here it is:



---I love you because you always smell weird- NOT BAD - but weird. Sometimes I spend the entire day coming up with these really cool, involved stories about how you may have acquired the smell. It's great - believe me.

---I love you because together we worry about our intellect and musical integrity. And because thoughts of the universe make us nervous and we say "ah," and shake our heads then hug.

---I love you because you exist with that loud voice of yours and you think it bothers me when truly: it completely amazes me and I'm glad I'm not the only passionate speaker.

---I love you because no matter how hard you could try to be like everyone else, or to fall under their systems and their stupidity, it is inevitably IMPOSSIBLE. And you are more than O.K. with that.

---I love you because you never seem to tire of scribbling down words because awknoledging each day, before it's death, is as important to you as it is to me.

---I love you because it's the only thing that always makes a lot of sense. It's an unfaultering logic.

---I love you because you make this crazy dream significant, even when you are alone in the cold.

---I love you because you make what a majority considers wrong, the most reasonable choice. You make it right, and better.

---I love you because with you movies become just movies, and I love my life more than I admire the lives of all thos actors.

---I love you because I'm happy even if the weather sucks and there are no clouds in the sky.

---I love you because you don't give up, and even the most subtle of glances or nods...says everything.

---I love you because you're good at everything and I just don't tell you so you don't get cocky. And even then you never stop doing what you're great at. And only better yourself, and grow stronger and unbreakable.

---I love you because you remind me that "love," of all sorts, does exist and that it matters.

So there. Let's just say...

This means something.

Always, You know who

Simple

MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND I FEEL MORE THAN READY TO TAKE ON ALL THOSE CRAZY THINGS THAT ARE ABOUT TO SURROUND MY LIFE. I WANT TO JUST SIT AND OBSERVE AND LISTEN TO COLDPLAY, SHARING A CIGARETTE WITH SOMEONE I LOVE ARDENTLY. SUCH IS WHO I AM, AND SUCH ARE THE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY: THE SIMPLE, MOST COMPLICATED-EXTRAORDINARY-DETAILED SIMPLICITY THAT ENGULFS ALL MY SENSES AND TAKES ME UNDER ITS HEAVY WAVES. I WANT TO BE NOWHERE BUT HERE. ANYONE WANT TO JOIN ME?

Filmcasting

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: "MISSED THE BOAT" BY MODEST MOUSE

So, I'm a teenager. Damn it. It wont last long, and I'll get I'll pout and I'll miss it. So I have to make the best of it. Sounds reasonable, I think. So I try my stupid little heart out: cause I give a fuck about not giving a fuck about what anyone else thinks.

Next order of business:
MUSIC VIDEO STUFF...


Yep. Stay tuned!....Ian. I love you

A Conquest

I like to know things. Same as everyone else. No biggie. It's not an outlandish personality trait, in fact it's one of the most common.
It's not an unconventional concept; to learn. It's about learning to observe, with an open mind. Perspective is crucial but needs to be stable, logical, and always, as fore mentioned, objective.
I found myself wishing today for someone that is willing to sit in a book store for ten to twelve hours with me, just taking book after book, consider, choose, and read, even if only a few pages.
Today, I also discovered that people think that knowledge is memorizig things so that you can pass a test whose results define your "intellect." Fuck that. To me, knowledge is being able to take in information, even that which is seen by most as false or "unnecessary." Knowledge is learning how to apply those things into conversation, and create personal stands on the learned information.
Knowledge is not pretending you know things simply because you can speak of them. It's accepting you may be wrong and accepting others' points-of-view. I'm teeming with ideas: both stupid and clever. Right and Wrong. Intricate and straightforward. Blaring and faint.
I want to fabricate a world, original or not, that absorbs knowledge and applies it, not a worlds that glances at knowledge but shies away.
I do not want to envision such a world...

Waiting

I'm waiting for the waves of ideas...